So many people enter relationships expecting their loved one to somehow make them whole. It often backfires, and they continue to feel lonely even when they’re not alone.

People with this problem tend to lack awareness of the problem and don’t know where to look for help — or that help is even available.

They tend not to read articles like this and when they do, they tend not to apply the lessons to themselves.

It’s a problem of lack of self-awareness, but since introspection is often too painful, they reject suggestions — and even facts — that their problems lie within themselves.

They may react with anger, temper tantrums, or even pathological behavior — all in effort to protect themselves from painful realities they’re not ready to face.

Relationships where this applies to both (or all) parties tend to implode — they’re over before they begin.

Alternatively, in relationships where one person is (emotionally) healthy and the other is not, it can be tempting to try to “fix” the person’s ego and self-esteem, but this never ends well. If the loved one follow through with professional help, there’s not much anyone else can do.

When emotionally healthy people resort to providing their others with (long-term) listening and coaching services themselves, they usually end up feeling drained and resentful and find they need to seek support groups and counseling for themselves.

It’s hard to let someone go when you love them, but sometimes letting go is the only way to love them.

Queer Black Woman w/ Disabilities and Indigenous Roots | Health educator & former healer now healing herself | Quora @April-M-Hamm | LinkedIn @April-Hamm #WEOC