4. Get clear on what your partner can do differently that will lessen the triggers of you feeling insecure. Tell them how to support you. If you don’t know, you need to figure that out for them. Don’t expect them to know what will make you feel better.
The Good Men Project
This part is tough for many people. Without years of prior therapy, many people lack the self-awareness — the “emotional intelligence” if you will — to have any clue at all about their own wants and needs.
Moreover, people who struggle with self-awareness tend not be strong communicators. When they try to express themselves, it just comes out as yelling and crying — or worse, guessing games like silent treatment, temper tantrums, and micro-agressive behaviors like innapropriate sarcasm and intentional forgetting.
Support groups and individual coaching and counseling can help, but at the end of the day, the person has to desire self-improvement enough to implement change before they can accept help and begin the process.